Bubie-chan vs the world

Okay, the goddess of misfortune must be after me. I’m unemployed, a friend of mine “unfriended” me (not on FACEBOOK but in real life, we’re still Facebook friends though), My mom said she can’t handle me anymore and my dad just declared an all-out war against me. I’m starting to believe that I really have attitude problems. Sometimes I’m on the mood to follow their orders and then suddenly, I began to feel annoyed. Also, I have my “unlikely”behavior. I talk back on impulse whenever they try to scold me. God knows how I try to staple my mouth but I just can’t let myself be blamed by people around me especially if I didn’t do anything wrong. Adding to it, I try to justify all my actions just to assure that I’m the victim (sometimes it’s the other way around). I’m really hopeless when it comes to changing.

Scream my lungs out

Because I miss you guys (For my high school best buddies)

On a normal school day, acting normal makes the day boring. That’s why my friends and I have been doing some of the nastiest and craziest things that high school students can do in order to kill boredom.

There are eight of us in our group called the “Witches”. It may sound “korny” and childish but we like our name that way. We also believe that it describes us best.

I miss my best buddies…we took different roads along the way yet our hearts beat as one

A confession

I was staying in my Aunt’s house last tuesday when my niece (8 years old) came and offered me a magazine. It was a Total Girl special issue on embarrassing stories of children and teenagers across the globe. Most of the girls wrote about how they act stupid whenever their crushes are around. In the back of my head, I was wondering about my own silly performance in front of the guys I like.

As I was browsing through the pages, I saw Kelly Clarkson’s confession…here it goes: “Like every other girl in the world, my most embarrassing moment had to do with a guy completely turning me down.”

A smile painted on my face after repeatedly reading Kelly’s statement. What this post of mine is all about? Well, it is about a girl, standing side by side of boy asking him to be her promdate.

Note: it took me a year to think about how would I do such an embarrassing thing…I saved up all my courage and spent it all in a 30-seconder conversation with my four-year crush.

Let us just call him Orange (He’s not like the Annoying Orange in YOUTUBE, he just wears orange shirt most of the time.

Orange and I were former dorm mates back when we’re still freshmen. He is so timid and having a blank reaction is his identifier.

He looks so fragile yet very mysterious. Seldom you’ll see him with a girl but you can see him alone most of the time. He was just a typical teenager with extraordinary fair skin. But it was his eyes that I liked the most.

I never had a chance to be his classmate in any of my general courses. So I’m just like a mere stalker of him…always watching him from a far and hoping that one day, I’ll be able to be with him, not in a romantic way (as a friend of course).

So for almost four years, I’ve waited and planned on how I can actually talk to him or even just go near him…even if it is just a foot or two. When I reached my senior year, that’s when I’ve decided to come and get him as my promdate. Spending this event with him would be epic…but in my quest for a perfect date, it was indeed epic; EPIC FAILED!

Why? I asked his friend, also a good friend of mine to serve as a catalyst. However, it didn’t turn out just like in movies.

I was on my way to my class when I saw Orange, and I thought that was an opening. A chance! I said to myself while my feet were shaking and my hands were ready to cover my face just in case I’ll be embarrassed.
As both of us were heading to the same direction, I utter the words I’ve been practicing for three years.

*Conversation
Me: Umm Orange did he tell you about prom?
Orange: Yes, he did.
Me: Is it okay with you?
Orange: Ummm..I don’t know…because..I don’t know…Ummm
Me: It is all right with me. don’t worry.
Orange: Umm..because..Umm I don’t know
Me: I said it is all right if you don’t want too. Thanks by the way (Forced smile)
Orange: Okay

See, that was my dream come true conversation as in one on one conversation with my longtime crush. as you can see, he only knew few phrases and he spoke them repeatedly. At first I was like, “WTF? How could you not say it directly. Just say NO and it will be a good answer. Something I’ve been expecting” But after I went to the restroom with my teary-eyes, I realized, he did that in order to protect me from being hurt. If I were in his case too I’ll probably think of a less hurting way of turning down someone. Especially if that someone is just a person whom I seldom see but never spoke to.

Lesson learned. Never assume that no matter how prepared you are to do something, the outcome is still unpredictable. In reality, every action taken bears a lot of consequences. It is unlike in movies that you always get what you wanted. It is unlike in movies that your crush will say Yes in an instant. It is unlike in movies that you’ll get to experience happiness easily.

Life, unlike in movies is a little bit complicated when you think so…but its simplicity lies on the one who’s running it:)

Culture Jamming

Culture Jamming

Christmas: behind the disco lights

For a child, everyday is Christmas. The assurance of having a complete family makes one happy all throughout the year. The feeling of being loved is incomparable to any material things. However, when one turns into a teenager, everything is different. Often times, what matter mostly are the material gifts, expensive travels, and full blast parties.

No one is too primitive enough to confine one’s self in the four corners of the room. Everyone wants to belong into the outside where Christmas is an excuse to get drunk and to get wild. Because of these, teens are misunderstood for being selfish and self-centered.
In my dormitory for example, last year, we spent our Christmas party drinking and partying at the beach. Everybody was restless. The sound of our laughter fills the air as the smoke of the bonfire enters our eyes.

One may think we were just a bunch of kids who wanted to own the world and make our own community. An outsider may believe that all we have for Christmas is our beer-belly and wasted selves. Being branded as hostile students and scary monsters, one could never imagine that we have still the child inside of us.
Who would ever dare to ask anyway? No one really cares about how we celebrate the season. They always assume that we have alcohol instead of blood. What they do not know is, we love to be children once in a while. We too love exchanging stories and giving gifts. Although we have differences, we share the same idea of a perfect Christmas.

Perfect means a complete attendance of dormers so that we can all get together as a family. No one should be left inside his/her room while the rest gather to eat and party. Yes, we love to party. It is through our sound systems and colorful disco balls that we could feel Santa Claus presence.

We also have the traditional exchange gift. Who would think we still practice that given our lifestyle?
Yes, we are techno kids; but with real heart. There is a little match girl in every one of us. Behind our teenage looks is the same childlike attitude that we have every yuletide season. Just because we celebrate Christ’s birth differently does not mean the essence is gone. The spirit of Christmas will always be there with or without the Christmas tree. Not all people can afford a tree anyway. There may be no hanging socks outside our doors but we have our smiles to express our excitement.

No one has the right to dictate on how we should celebrate Christmas. Everyone has its own interpretation of what the season is for. With or without the extravagant Noche Buena, huge Christmas tree and colorful lights, it will always be the same Christmas we used to love.
(Tonight will be our Christmas party and we are so excited.)