A confession

I was staying in my Aunt’s house last tuesday when my niece (8 years old) came and offered me a magazine. It was a Total Girl special issue on embarrassing stories of children and teenagers across the globe. Most of the girls wrote about how they act stupid whenever their crushes are around. In the back of my head, I was wondering about my own silly performance in front of the guys I like.

As I was browsing through the pages, I saw Kelly Clarkson’s confession…here it goes: “Like every other girl in the world, my most embarrassing moment had to do with a guy completely turning me down.”

A smile painted on my face after repeatedly reading Kelly’s statement. What this post of mine is all about? Well, it is about a girl, standing side by side of boy asking him to be her promdate.

Note: it took me a year to think about how would I do such an embarrassing thing…I saved up all my courage and spent it all in a 30-seconder conversation with my four-year crush.

Let us just call him Orange (He’s not like the Annoying Orange in YOUTUBE, he just wears orange shirt most of the time.

Orange and I were former dorm mates back when we’re still freshmen. He is so timid and having a blank reaction is his identifier.

He looks so fragile yet very mysterious. Seldom you’ll see him with a girl but you can see him alone most of the time. He was just a typical teenager with extraordinary fair skin. But it was his eyes that I liked the most.

I never had a chance to be his classmate in any of my general courses. So I’m just like a mere stalker of him…always watching him from a far and hoping that one day, I’ll be able to be with him, not in a romantic way (as a friend of course).

So for almost four years, I’ve waited and planned on how I can actually talk to him or even just go near him…even if it is just a foot or two. When I reached my senior year, that’s when I’ve decided to come and get him as my promdate. Spending this event with him would be epic…but in my quest for a perfect date, it was indeed epic; EPIC FAILED!

Why? I asked his friend, also a good friend of mine to serve as a catalyst. However, it didn’t turn out just like in movies.

I was on my way to my class when I saw Orange, and I thought that was an opening. A chance! I said to myself while my feet were shaking and my hands were ready to cover my face just in case I’ll be embarrassed.
As both of us were heading to the same direction, I utter the words I’ve been practicing for three years.

*Conversation
Me: Umm Orange did he tell you about prom?
Orange: Yes, he did.
Me: Is it okay with you?
Orange: Ummm..I don’t know…because..I don’t know…Ummm
Me: It is all right with me. don’t worry.
Orange: Umm..because..Umm I don’t know
Me: I said it is all right if you don’t want too. Thanks by the way (Forced smile)
Orange: Okay

See, that was my dream come true conversation as in one on one conversation with my longtime crush. as you can see, he only knew few phrases and he spoke them repeatedly. At first I was like, “WTF? How could you not say it directly. Just say NO and it will be a good answer. Something I’ve been expecting” But after I went to the restroom with my teary-eyes, I realized, he did that in order to protect me from being hurt. If I were in his case too I’ll probably think of a less hurting way of turning down someone. Especially if that someone is just a person whom I seldom see but never spoke to.

Lesson learned. Never assume that no matter how prepared you are to do something, the outcome is still unpredictable. In reality, every action taken bears a lot of consequences. It is unlike in movies that you always get what you wanted. It is unlike in movies that your crush will say Yes in an instant. It is unlike in movies that you’ll get to experience happiness easily.

Life, unlike in movies is a little bit complicated when you think so…but its simplicity lies on the one who’s running it:)

Identity Crisis

The youth, as they say are great imitators and are often victimized by what they see on TV, heard from the radio, and read on magazines. They get their sense of identity to what the dominant culture offers, but somehow, there are some who find belongings together with the  so-called deviants of the society.

However, looking to the present situation, I can say that more teenagers are losing their real identity because of the commercialization of these subcultures.

Subcultures, as we all know are formed out of deviating from the mainstream or from the dominant culture. These are formed by people with the same ideologies which are reflected through their appearance, communication style, and beliefs.  With the media, each distinction served as mere branding and for merchandize now.

In a study conducted by Joseph Klapper, he explained that media serve as mediating factors that could either produce direct effects or as a contributory agent. According to him, mass media only reinforce existing behavioral predispositions.

In the case of Filipino teenagers, one can see them walking on the street per group, wearing the same clothing and carrying the same brand of merchandize. This is because Western countries are targeting mass audience through hidden persuaders embedded in every Western movie, cartoon, news analysis, TV program, video tape, compact disc, advertisement and product. Filipinos who easily give in to the bait are easily influenced especially on how they think and feel about themselves and the society.

The youth, according to Heaven and Turbidy are the part of the community who are most receptive, or, alternatively, susceptible to, foreign cultural practices. Frequently, youth is associated to rebelliousness. They are the part of society that are most likely to engage in a process of cultural borrowing that is disruptive of the reproduction of traditional cultural practices, from modes of dress to language, aesthetics and ideologies.

This borrowing of identities among teenagers often leads to different problems associated with this age group. Some of the youth actually do not know when and how did their particular subculture came to life. All they know is how they are supposed to look like one they have chosen a group to conform with.

Ever seen a 16 –year old boy wearing a statement shirt, let us say it has “Black Sabbath” printed on it and ask him what does it mean, and he will be saying nothing. Also, everyone they see wearing dreadlocks hair is already called Rasta. Do they even know how it is to belong to be called Rastafarian?

The teenagers’ idea of subculture and identity is limited on what the media projected. Often times, it is of negative connotations, but they do not bother to argue or question since it seemed to them that the culture is cool.

The ideologies and practices that should be the standard basis for belonging to a certain subculture are over powered by the trendy clothes and catchy songs. Slowly, subcultures become part of the mainstream because of globalization and commercialism.

To support my claim that media have great effects on teenagers, InterMedia, a nonprofit company that conducts global research and evaluation, and specializes in the field of media and communications, conducted a study about analysis of trends among young people and media in Central and Eastern Europe, the Commonwealth of Independent States and the Baltic States.

As might be expected, young people most often seek entertainment from all the media they follow. They tune in to television for films, music shows, game shows, soap operas and series, sports events, fashion/lifestyle programs, etc. They tune in to radio to listen to their favorite types of music. They use computers and the Internet primarily to use e-mail and chat with their friends, to download software and music, and to play games. Their main interests in newspapers and magazines centre on celebrities, rock groups, sports, fashion, horoscopes and crosswords (InterMedia.com)

This study shows that the teenagers’ behaviors are greatly affected by the media. Nevertheless, their sense of identity is dependent and undergoes alteration through exposure to different medium. What I am trying to convey is that, teenagers have lowered the value of subcultures and have made a fool of themselves through believing that they are keeping it real well when in fact they are hiding their real selves.

If this kind of thinking continues to exist, the real essence of deviation will be totally gone and will be replaced by profit oriented thoughts by the mainstream; made possible by the media. We, the youth should know what we really want and believe in. We should not let the media control us, make use of their packages to lure us in believing and conforming to a particular group without even knowing a thing about it. We should be  knowledgeable about our own selves before jumping into something for the sake of belonging.