Surrender the WHITE flag

(Random thoughts again)

I am an outgoing person who tries to live for today and enjoy the fullest of life. I can say at some point that I am liberated, aggressive and adventurous when it comes to being an adolescent, a teenager and a young adult.

Being open-minded and a free spirit, I take responsibility with my actions even if often times they are not justifiable and often make me vulnerable.

I may go easy on things but there is a part of me saying, I am conservative when it comes to sex.

Let us face the fact that it has been a trend to most teenagers nowadays to loosen up and be one of the American kids who lose their virginity on promenade.

Whenever I am asked about when will I give up and surrender my white flag…I used to say right away after marriage. So ironic for someone like me to say that yet I said that before. (I just want to clear things…LONG LIVE THE VIRGINS)

Now ask me again, and I will answer it not when…but rather, to whom should I give in?

I no longer consider time and my civil status… I am just particular with the person…the right one of course. But by saying Mr. Right does not necessarily mean my husband or boyfriend. He could be just anyone whom I find worthy. He could be a married man, an ex-boyfriend, a fling or even a random stranger.

What is virginity anyway? Something that is represented a layer that we call hymen. Something that could be repaired with modern technology…but is it really just that? It is more spiritual and moral I guess. As long as I will not be losing it because of force entry like rape, then I shall say I have taken good care of it.

So for me…it will not be when…but to whom

The L word…the what?

My friends tell me I can’t feel…Or am I just afraid of feeling something for someone…I’ll write about it next time…

One of the Boys: A Gift or A Curse?

Growing up with a bunch of boy friends around you means being one of them. They treat you just like the same…no special treatments except during rainy seasons since they’ll offer you their coats or jackets.

I’ve always been acting like one of the tough guys since I was a kid and I did not know how to breakaway since I’ve been comfortable with the clothes I wear, toys I play and music I listen to.

I don’t have brothers…biologically speaking…but I got tons of them (just disregard the blood thing) Often times, I’m being misunderstood for a lesbian or a bisexual because of my behavior which I guess, will be permanent.

But what I like being boyish is that:

• you get free body guards anywhere you go—-of course they won’t let anyone harm you. Your enemy is their enemy too regardless if you’re right or wrong…you’ll always have a bunch of back-ups.
• you get free drinks whenever you’re in a bar or just an ordinary store—it has always been a male instinct to impress everyone by giving out freebies.lol.
• you’ll be assured to have jackets/coat during rainy days or while watching movies inside the malls–when it is cold, it is their duty to make you feel warm…I mean, make you comfortable despite the weather or setting…hahaha.(it is not what you think)

the best part of being one of the tough guys is….especially when you like someone:

• you can hug them for free or kiss them on the cheeks sometimes…with no malice…maybe just for them..lol
• you can have them beside you anytime except if they have some dates
• they share some secrets and trust your every word
• call you when they needed advice and ask you out for an ice (T-ice, ice cream..whatever)
• you get gifts during your birthday and even during ordinary days

the hard part of being one with the buds:

• you get sucker punch all the time…since they thought you can’t feel pain (physically) like them
• you can’t wear girly clothes without them laughing at you and saying..you’re so gay!
• you can’t complain when they bring their girlfriends around you and introduced them as if you like them too.
• you can’t refuse drinking sessions
• you can’t get away from their pranks…like having you dance with other girls..I mean slowdance..as if you got what they got…hmpf!
• when they caught you listening to katy perry’s song you’ll be the center of all the jokes…

The hardest part…

when it comes to:

• jokes…most of the time, they could not determine which is a joke from not…
• feelings….never fall for any of them…they won’t notice it..unless he feels the same way too…but never expect he will look at you the way you want him to.

You can always be with them..but falling in love will be your biggest downfall..you’re lucky if they love you too but if not…friendship is better than having nothing to hold on to…

But in my case, I’m happy being one of them…for now… who knows, in the future, I might regret it too…