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Monthly Archives: November 2011
Unbelievable, I thought it could never happen to me
Ninja
At the age of 21, I feel like I’ve been through many obstacles I myself can never imagine.
The latest one was, how should I put it, the most challenging I guess. Last month, on the 5th of October, I had my very first encounter with an anesthesiologist, surgeons, and an operating table.
My parents and I couldn’t believe that only an operation can save my face from becoming paralyzed, my left ear from becoming deaf, and my brain becoming infected.
Thanks to my doctor and everything’s kinda okay right now. I still have my weekly check ups though. I also gave up working and just hangout here at home.
Even until now, I have this feeling that everything was like in movies. The moment they prepared me for my operation, I was somehow shocked that you have to be naked under that green hospital gown.
The moment I entered the operating room, I was really anxious because they were too many people. I didn’t even see my doctor before and after the procedure. All I know was, they injected something that made me drowzy, so I didn’t realize that the tube that served and cotntrolled my anesthesia was stuck into my throat.
I was inside the OR for five hours I guess. I was dreaming the whole time. I woke up crying because in my mind, my boss was scolding me for something I did. That’s when I heard a nurse telling me that it was over.
I was so thankful because I managed to wake up and I didn’t have that near death dream where I have to climb a stair with dead people calling me.
To make sure that my fcial nerves were not affceted, they tried to make me smile.
My mom told me later that the infection was worse than expected. If we had waited for another month, I could have suffered from brain absces and meningitis.
My doctor told me to stay in the hospital for 14 days, so I have to quit working sonce I still can’t file for a sick leave.
I feel sorry that my parents spent the money for our kitchen renovation just to save me from becoming a vegetable.I am hoping to recover so that I can work and earn again. I owe them big time.
On the brighter side, I thank God for giving me another chance. I learned that no matter how cautious and careful you are, you’ll never escape what He has prepared for you. I know this setback was a challenge for me. He knew I’ve been making plans ahead and I just realized that I can never tell what the future brings.
Funny thing was, I’ve been counting my 100 working days before quitting. Quite surprisingly, I only worked 52 days I guess. Maybe He has a batter plan. I will surely trust Him this time.
Can you keep a secret?
Telling secrets is like a multiple choice exam. To whom will you confess, what secret will you say? It is never easy because not all people can be your shock-absorber. One may react unexpectedly once you got the wrong choice of things to share. Instead of helping you with that tiny piece, they may lead you to absolute judgment.
Edith Stein (Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) October 12, 1891- August 9, 1942
“Come! We are going for our people.”
These are the last words of a woman of wisdom and perseverance. A fellow human being whose calling was to serve God through mundane acts. Once an atheist but later realized the value of religion. A feminist who wanted woman empowerment, and a fighter who voiced out her ideology even to the Pope.
Edith Stein is indeed an epitome of a modern-day hero. She did not shed blood nor fought in battles against the Nazis. In fact, she was also one of the victims of the holocaust. But what set her apart from the rest was that, she knew something was wrong and she did try to take actions.
Edith Stein’s Humble Beginning
Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross or Edith Stein was born on October 12, 1891 in Breslau, Germany. She was the 11th child of a religious Jewish couple, Siegried Stein and Auguste Courant.
Just like other teenagers, she had spent her childhood years under the influence and guidance of her parents. She admired her mother’s strong faith the most; but later on she became an atheist during her teenage years.
However, atheism had nothing to do with her desire to learn. Edith Stein’s family favor professions in the field of Medicine. Her sister became a Gynecologist. She, on the other hand was one of the few who were interested in a branch of medicine we now call psychiatry.
She took it in order to unlock questions like how the mind works, what trouble pains the heart, and how to cure or heal the soul. Her passion about it was reflected on her works and actions during her time.
Edith Stein’s Calling: Phenomenology and Service
In 1911 at the age of 19, she studied philology and philosophy at the University of Breslau.
Upon her discovery of the book published by Edmund Husserl entitled Logical Investigations, Edith decided to transfer to the University of Göttingen.. At the age of 21, she become initiated into the new philosophy of science called Phenomenology. under the teaching of Husserl. She was one of the first women students to enroll at the said university.
At the beginning of World War I in 1914, she volunteered at a military hospital, where she also found inspiration for her philosophical work on the subject of empathy.
She later earned her doctorate in philosophy Suma Cum Laude in 1916, still under Husserl’s tutelage at the University of Freiburg. She then worked for him as a research and teaching assistant for 18 months. After which, she quit but she continued to work in various projects of his former mentor.
From 1916 through 1921, this is the period when she wrote her four treatises: first “On the Problem of Empathy,” 1916, second, “Sentient Causality,”1918, third, “Individual and Community,” 1919 and lastly, “On the state” 1921. All her published works present new perspectives and were somehow unconventional.
Due to some issues on gender and women empowerment, it took her a decade to have a university career in 1930′s. She was just starting to teach at Münster when the anti-Semtic regulations of 1933 was implemented taking her job away.
While she was doing her studies, Edith Stein was searching not only for the truth, but for Truth itself. After reading the autobiography of Saint Teresa of Avila she found what she was looking for. After she was enlightened, she converted into Catholic. She was baptized on New Year’s Day, January 1, 1922.
After her conversion, at the age of 42, she was accepted into the Carmel at Cologne. This has been a major step in fulfilling her vocation. She spent her days serving the people through teaching, lecturing, writing and translating. She offered herself to God by touching people’s lives. Later, her brilliance was acknowledge and she became a renowned philosopher and an author.
On October 14, 1933, Edith Stein entered the Discalced Carmelie Nuns’ cloistered community at Cologne-Lindentha upon the approval of he Benedictine spiritual director. She received the religious name “Teresia Benedicta ac Cruce” the moment she received the Habit of Carmel. She made her Profession of Vows on April 21, 1935.
Because of the holocaust, Edith Stein soon sensed danger and decided to transfer to a foreign monastery. It was on December 31, 1938 when she crossed the border into Holland and was received by the Carmel of Echt. This time, she wrote The Science of the Cross which became her last work.
When the Nazis invaded Holland, all the Catholics of Jewish including Edith Stein was taken away from Echt Carmel. They were brought into the death camp of Auschwitz on August 2, 1942. The four-day trip was brutal and the they were treated inhumanly. Many died and her fate was not different from the other Jews. On August 9, 1942, Edith Stein died in gas chambers.
In 1955, an American organization of Roman Catholic converts was named Edith Stein Guild in honor of Edith Stein. After 45 years, she was beatified as Sister Teresa Benedicta of the Cross on 1 May 1987 by Pope John Paul II. She was canonized on October 11, 1998 and became a patron saint of Europe In 1999.
Many questioned her canonization because of some religion issues. However, one’s past is not important. Whether you were a Jew or a Catholic, what important is the person you are today. Just like Edith Stein,she made her choices along the way. She did not become influential in Germany but Europe as a whole.
Sources:
http://www.ewtn.com/faith/edith_stein.htm
http://www.library.nd.edu/colldev/subject_home_pages/catholic/personal_connections.shtml
http://womenshistory.about.com/od/jewishwomen/p/edith_stein.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edith_Stein
Wooden Heart
Wooden heart
I was wondering how to edit this picture when I remembered a song with an appropriate lyrics. So here it is: Wooden Heart
Written by: Berthold Kaempfert, Kay Twomey, Fred Wise and Ben Weisman
Can’t you see I love you?
Please don’t break my heart in two
That’s not hard to do cause I don’t have a wooden heart
And if you say good-bye
Then I know that I would cry
Maybe I would die cause I don’t have a wooden heart
There’s no strings upon this love of mine
It was always you from the start
Treat me nice treat me good
Treat me like you really should
Cause I’m not made of wood and I don’t have a wooden heart
Treat me nice treat me good treat me like you really should
Cause I’m not made of wood and I don’t have a wooden heart
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tom+petty/wooden+heart_20138634.html ]
Apple, Boy, Cat: My first teaching experience
I miss you all
When I was four, I was addicted to chalks and blackboards. I guess every kid does want to expreience being look upon and respected. As if you possess all the wisdom in the world.
I always wanted to teach the ABC or draw objects. I remember making use of our walls at home and some old illustration boards.
As I grew older, I realized that my only strength is English aside from computer and Filipino. After graduating form college, my dad wanted me to become a grown-up. He said, I will never learn how to be matured if I’ll stay at home and read manga all day. So byu June, he lent me a sufficient amount and told me to gind a job.
What I want to do? I got no idea that time.
But these were the things that I love to do since I like to talk and pretend to be a smart-ass:
First, I want a stress-free job with my own my cubicle, computer and headset. This set-up may sound like a call center agent but I threw that dream long long time ago. I learned that being an agent is stressful.
Second, I wanted to interact with people coming from different race. It’s been facinating to talk with people you hardly know. Especialluy if they are foreigners. I love talking about theories, principles and social issues.
In short, I just want a job where I can talk, use computer and pretend to be an expert.
Interview
It was my first job interview. Actually it was my first time to hand in my resume. As in personllay right to the HR mangaer.
I was anxious. I didn’t know how to react when they told me that I’ll be back for interview two hours. It was all my first time. Actually, my friend and I decided to be back but she suddunely chickened out. I was left on my own.
During the interview, I was more troubled. I didn’t know anyone. All of them have their friends and schoolmates. I was alone. Yes I was. My only friend left me inside the interview room with some predators. I don’t want to be their prey so I tried my best to feel less intimidated. At the back of my head, I’d rather intimidate people than to be intimidated by them. Nonetheless, it was survival of the fittest. An all out amazon war. How lucky can I get? My resume was missing, only to find out it was stapled next to my friend’s resume. The interviewer who later turned out to be the supervisor, mocked my resume for being “too economical”. What can I do, I don’t have anything to write. Safe to say I don’t have the bragging rights. All I have was my name, my course, summer internship and school affiliation. I think it was kinda normal for a fresh grad right? I mean a fresh graduate who was mediocre at school and didn’t have anything in mind but to graduate on time. Who get to have a well furnished resume after graduating? Maybe the ones with good creditials and BS Org, Extra Curricualr/Summa/Magna/Cum students. But me? I was nobody. Just an average university student.
As I quote from a book, “I was too average I could be in the Guinness Book of World Records if they have a category for that.”
Going back before I get too emotional, I read the words as clearly as possible, I let my voice be heard by everyone and I was nervous…very nervous. After an hour or two, we were asked to wait outside for the result.
Just like all my first, I was also the first one to be called. A smile painted on my face. I did it. My first attempt was epic. I wasn’t rejected. We had another activity were only five of us were left. By six, we ended and were told to wait for a text message from the company. The schedule for the training.
That was fast I must say. I earned new acquaintances, after two weeks of training with them, I can already call them friends. Lein was special since she’s my Kuy-kuy’s bestfriend/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. Nang Camille was so motherly yet she was cool. Nang Kim and Nang Dex were like my older sisters. They were fashionable and easy to get along with. Love, Jenny and Annie were the mood setters. They surely know how to make us laugh.
After passing the assessment with our Korean manager, my life as a teacher started.
Teaching? Who says it was easy?
I have to deal with every student. I can’t complain if they don’t want to talk, However, they can complain about us all the time. From our looks, accent, and treatment. See? How unfair? But they have the right since they were paying for our salary. I was just lucky that my students didn’t have anything against me.
Teaching ABC
Having kids as my students was fun. I can doodle on our whiteboard, ell corny jokes and they’ll laugh. We can high-five and play catch using our webcams, play maze and puzzles. We can also make fun of each other.
I can smile and laugh all throughout the night without realizing our 20 minute class time was over. The best part of all, is to be called TEACHER. My students would say, Hi teacher. Teacher, I want to drink water. Teacher, what’s snail mail? Teacher do you like hamsters? Teacher have you seen the Ring? Too many questions yet I enjoyed answering all of them.
Meet my students
Emma: Sweet-Cello-girl
One of my favorites, Emma. Since I’m her first tutor, we treated each other like friends. I’m seven years older than her. She often times call me Ruby and would make a drawing.
She told me everything. She showed me her pets. I was so happy. The next thing that I can think of was, please don’t teacher change.
Bryan: Mr. Smart guy
On the contrary, dealing with female seniors was different. Some of them can be know-it-all and would really try to push you at your limit. One time I had to deal with a mother. An English and College teacher. She was surprised that I only been teaching for three months. Good thing she went to Iloilo and knew about my university’s reputation. I was saved. She did not observe my class with her son. Bryan is my longest student ever. We’ve seen each other for more than 30 times. He stayed, since he doesn’t really care but he’s nice. He can speak very well and can comprehend questions. I think he got used to seeing me every night. I would often cracked a joke and he’ll laugh. I always encouraged him to speak or to share about anything. After few meetings, he was at ease and comfortable with me I guess. We even had a phone class during his birthday. He was the type who wants to learn and share what he knew.
Edward: Cutest Crazy Camera addict:
I also like Edward. He is 12 years old and he loves hamsters very much. Often times, he would ask me randomly. He would play with his camera until his computer would malfunctioned. He likes Math and he’s really smart. He never missed a class. I was once late, and he told me that I am one minute late. I laugh of course. He was eager to learn and I made sure he won’t be bored. Later on, he also became my favorite. He was really nice and honest. His favorite line was TGIF. I really love him because you can feel that he was willing to cooperate. You can also see that he showed his genuine feelings.
Lily: The sophisticated one.
She has long hair, wear glasses and seldom smiles.
She’s an elite I supposed. During our first meeting, I often feel intimidated because she seldom talk,
But as we go along, I learned to like her as well. She asks things about our lesson and she can also answer our activities. She’s now not shy.
Jin Hyeong: superstar.
He got the looks and the personality. He’s a stubborn kid but he respected me. He doesn’t shout, he just keep his mouth shut. He has this gloomy personality but his smile is really cute.
Emily: Athletically beautiful.
I think Emily can be one of the future model or actress of Korea. She’s really pretty. She also has this charisma. She attends class even though she’s very sleepy. She wakes up to answer my call and attends class. She panics whenever she’s late. She’s simple yet smart. She’s also easy to please.
Ellen: The busy one
She’s just in elementary but she’s always busy. She’s the class president, she’s an achiever and all the extra curricular activities that you can think of belong to her. She always absent because she has a contest, she needs to study, and she has to prepare for Chuseok.
Casey: The smart one
She can speak very well. She’s smart for her age and she tried scaring me off using Sadako’s picture. At first I thought I really want to get rid of her but then, she was somehow trying to adjust and finally, we were in good terms.
Percy and Soyeon: The know-it-all from US
I think the two of them were always bored. However, Soyeon was more open that Percy. She can relate to whatever topic but she sometimes tend to space out. Percy on the other hand, loved reading the lesson but he doesn’t speak much. And he looked like Vandolph, seriously.
June: The cute little boy
I’ve been his first teacher and I think he was shy but funny. HE was always nervous but he was very polite and gentle. He tried so hard to pronounce the word “calculator”. He was attentive and got a cute voice.
Jenny: Fun-studious-teenager
She doesn’t want to do the lesson. She rather talked about her experiences since she doesn’t have someone to talk to other than her friends. So whenever we had a class, she showed me pictures, angry birds toys and she even sang You belong with Me by Taylor Swift.
Since most of my Senior students don’t stay for long. Because I am younger and I don’t know how to handle them. However, I was lucky enough to have Mr. Jinho and Mr. Kevin. They were both in their 30′s and were professionals. I always enjoy talking to them since we can talk about business, their trips abroad and about their family. They’ve been to my country so they were familiar of some places. Mr. Jinho even let me talked to his “potential wife”as the term he preferred to use than fiancée. Mr. Kevin on the other hand, talked like a typical businessman but with great humor. He knew what to ask during our lessons. I was happy because they don’t intimidate me at all. They were nice and friendly.
Kevin: Ajhusi, Mr. TV Shopping Network
We just met once and he’s friendly.
He went to boracay and Philippines thrice already.
Jinho: Mr. Ghost
He’s always absent and busy. We always have phone class. He apologized most of the time.
I also had other students but they didn’t stay long.removed from my schedule, teacher changed or contract didn’t start yet.
Gaeun has computer problems, we only met once.
Taelim, computer problems, we talked over the phone twice.
Lucy, met once, know it all senior but she’s just 20. She teacher changed.
Min Jeong, we had four sessions, she teacher changed.
Yarn, never met him. Always absent.
Jeff, never met her, always absent.
Eagle, he’s supposed to be my student this November.
For two months, due to some unavoidable circumstances I was forced to quit my beloved job.
But these were the things that I need to got through during that period.
I am enjoyed it despite the sacrifices.
I gave up reading Manga, watching anime and facebooking/stalking.
I gave up living with my family and eating for free.
I was on my own; independent from other people. I can’t complain.
Because if I do, I will never become a grown up.
I washed my clothes, dishes and fixed my things.
I somehow learned to be more confident and friendly…or at least polite with other people. I enjoyed living on my own despite the circumstances. I wish I can work again.
Ceasefire: After NINE years of cold war
I do not own this photo
After nine long years, my elementary classmate and I finally declared a temporary ceasefire. He took the initiative to add me as a friend on Facebook (oh well, I hate to say this but Thanks Mark Zuckerberg). I accepted the invitation of course, just trying to be civil and less bitter. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t have any ulterior motive of doing so since he’s not the type of person you can easily trust again. But I’m happy to be connected with him again. We also created some conversation, which was so nice of him to start too. I believe he is still the same boy I knew (disregard his evil side). Well, why not give this friendship a second chance eh? Who knows, this time, he’s real and sincere. 
Bubie-chan vs the world
Okay, the goddess of misfortune must be after me. I’m unemployed, a friend of mine “unfriended” me (not on FACEBOOK but in real life, we’re still Facebook friends though), My mom said she can’t handle me anymore and my dad just declared an all-out war against me. I’m starting to believe that I really have attitude problems. Sometimes I’m on the mood to follow their orders and then suddenly, I began to feel annoyed. Also, I have my “unlikely”behavior. I talk back on impulse whenever they try to scold me. God knows how I try to staple my mouth but I just can’t let myself be blamed by people around me especially if I didn’t do anything wrong. Adding to it, I try to justify all my actions just to assure that I’m the victim (sometimes it’s the other way around). I’m really hopeless when it comes to changing. 
Scream my lungs out
bubie-chan
